Can you believe it’s September already? The final long sunny days of my first summer with Lydia are slipping away. It has been amazing. Tiring, yes. But amazing. She has grown from a little infant to almost a toddler this summer. She is crawling. She is even on the verge of walking. She spends hours a day walking- holding onto mommy or daddy’s fingers, cruising along the sofa or any somewhat stable piece of furniture she can access. She also recently starting dancing along to music (picture a chubby little bum bouncing up and down while gripping onto the sofa, sometimes tapping her hands to the beat…better than Flash Dance to me). She’s discovered sand boxes, swings, splash parks and so much more. Big summer.It has been such an honour to hold her hand through these important days in my baby’s brand new life.

But now fall is coming, and the endless days of just Lydia and me are no longer endless. Starting next week, we are beginning our transition with Lydia’s babysitter Diane. I have just over a month and I’m back to work. I am so sad. Our honeymoon. I feel like once I am back to work, things will change and I will never have this again. This time where all day (and all night, frankly) it’s just me and my Lydia. So connected physically and emotionally that it is almost like we are one person. Now I know that there are just as amazing things to come. Every age is more and more amazing. And later there will be more children and more amazing moments again. But this. This time right now. Just Lydia and I. This is coming to a close. Now Diane will be sharing this time with us.

But that’s life isn’t it? Nothing to do but enjoy every moment and day for what it is. Breathe. Breathe in my baby. Breathe in the warm summer air. And soon, breathe in the cool fall air. Live and appreciate. Sometimes I complain about being tired from waking 5 times a night or a sore back from walking with Lydia for hours at a time. But even when I complain, most of  me is filled with an immense sense of love and appreciation for what life (or god..or whatever) has given me. I am lucky. But today I am also a little sad.

Catherine

p.s. by the way…when I say just Lydia and I, I don’t mean to deny the great dad and husband that Stéphane is to Lydia and I. He is here every minute he can and loving Lydia just as much as is humanly possible. But you know how it is. I am Lydia’s mommy. It still feels like she’s part of me….and I am home all day…if you are a mom…you know what I mean.

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